challenges

Honestly, every day is a challenge.  Raising three spirited children during a recession requires resources that I often lack.  I struggle to pay my mortgage and meet the basic costs of living. Then there are the extras: sports fees, music, dance and drama lessons. I closely watch every penny. I pray there will be enough in my account to get us through another week. I have been humbled by my mother's offer to help me pay for my children's activities.  Neither of us wants to see them miss out.  I'm grateful for her generosity, but I also find it hard to accept money.


I am self-employed and have to chase work.  In 2014 I'm launching new classes, but there are no guarantees that my efforts will be successful.  I've had to invest in equipment and need to at least break even.  If all goes well, I'll hopefully earn enough to cover the costs of more training.  It seems logical that the more I develop my skills, the more income I will generate.  I love what I do, even if the financial rewards are minimal.  I'm helping people to become healthier and feel more confident.  Job satisfaction outweighs my financial insecurity; plus I don't have many other options at present.  Some of my neighbours are completely unemployed.

There are a lot of emotional hurdles to cross in the next 12 months.  I am hoping this will be the year my divorce is finalized.  It is frustrating knowing that in my own country I would have been divorced four years ago.  Since I am bound by the laws of my soon-to-be ex husband's land, I have to endure the idiocy of an antiquated system.

My ex has the emotional maturity of a two year old.  Trying to co-parent with him is an ongoing nightmare.  Add a defiant, strong-willed teenager into the mix for a blood pumping, adrenaline infused cocktail that sends me spinning.  According to Dr. Phil's stress test, I need to calm down.

Self-care is another challenge.  It's difficult to maintain a positive mindset on bad days.  I'd like to start a daily meditation practice again.  That might help me to quit grinding my teeth.  Remembering to breathe consciously would have many benefits and could sort out my jaw pain, shoulder pain, back pain...  While I may not be able to change certain family members' bad attitudes, I can certainly alter my reactions to them.  For my own health, this has to become a priority.

Frequently I must remind myself that this will pass.  Lately I've had flashes of my own adolescence resurfacing....

 Karma really is a bitch.

This post is part of Reverb13.  To learn more about this storytelling project click here. 

Day 11: What challenges lie ahead in 2014? How might you meet them boldly?